Beggars Revisited
In order to achieve five consecutive days of posting, I'm going to make a post. Although I think there are more than enough reasons to do so today.
On my way back from work today, I was walking in front of a construction site. It is my normal route, and people working in the site must have seen me a good number of times already. But today, one of the young workers decided to shout, "China!" In English. I first didn't know what to do because I have no association with China, but he once again shouted "China!" so I replied, "No, not China...Japan!" The workers were just laughing but I think I made my point clear. But at times like this, I wonder what my true identity is.
By blood, I am three quarter Korean, and one quarter Japanese. Does that mean I'm Korean? No, I speak Japanese, and know and act according to Japanese culture. Does that make me Japanese? No, actually, I'm a natural-born American citizen, and my current permanent residence is in good o'le Georgia. Technically I hold two citizenships at the moment, Japanese and USA. Then what should I answer, when someone asks me "what is your background?"
Not quite an American. Not quite a Korean. But not really a Japanese. Not quite a student. Not quite a tourist...even I find it difficult to define myself at the moment. Or maybe I shouldn't be defined at all in the first place. I guess I'm none of them, I'm just Masato.
Today another a-man-and-two-kids came by my place to do their elevator speech. At first I was so determined to leave them with nothing this time and feel no guilt at all by doing it, because everyone I asked around after the incident a few days back told me that I shouldn't feel bad for giving them nothing. But at the end, I gave them all of my ready-to-eat food supply in my apartment (which was not much). I didn't know what was right or wrong to do. I didn't know whether or not giving them those food would truly helped them in the long term. At times like this, all I can do is to follow what my heart tells me to do, and just hope that my parents raised me right.
Then I was short on food, so I went for a quick grocery shopping. And somehow I felt more refreshed than I was before the strangers' visit. A few days ago I wrote on this blog that I don't want to give beggers something just to satisfy my hypocritical self. Maybe I was being a bit too elegant on that statement...I was only running away from the least thing I could do to help them.
At the store a lady offered me a sample for cheese...and I wanted to ask, why don't you give these to the hungry kids outside? But then I realized later that it wasn't a strategy to make me buy cheese, but mentos.
My days are still full of surprises. I met many new people today again. But out of those, I think I liked beggars the best, and I think they liked me.
On my way back from work today, I was walking in front of a construction site. It is my normal route, and people working in the site must have seen me a good number of times already. But today, one of the young workers decided to shout, "China!" In English. I first didn't know what to do because I have no association with China, but he once again shouted "China!" so I replied, "No, not China...Japan!" The workers were just laughing but I think I made my point clear. But at times like this, I wonder what my true identity is.
By blood, I am three quarter Korean, and one quarter Japanese. Does that mean I'm Korean? No, I speak Japanese, and know and act according to Japanese culture. Does that make me Japanese? No, actually, I'm a natural-born American citizen, and my current permanent residence is in good o'le Georgia. Technically I hold two citizenships at the moment, Japanese and USA. Then what should I answer, when someone asks me "what is your background?"
Not quite an American. Not quite a Korean. But not really a Japanese. Not quite a student. Not quite a tourist...even I find it difficult to define myself at the moment. Or maybe I shouldn't be defined at all in the first place. I guess I'm none of them, I'm just Masato.
Today another a-man-and-two-kids came by my place to do their elevator speech. At first I was so determined to leave them with nothing this time and feel no guilt at all by doing it, because everyone I asked around after the incident a few days back told me that I shouldn't feel bad for giving them nothing. But at the end, I gave them all of my ready-to-eat food supply in my apartment (which was not much). I didn't know what was right or wrong to do. I didn't know whether or not giving them those food would truly helped them in the long term. At times like this, all I can do is to follow what my heart tells me to do, and just hope that my parents raised me right.
Then I was short on food, so I went for a quick grocery shopping. And somehow I felt more refreshed than I was before the strangers' visit. A few days ago I wrote on this blog that I don't want to give beggers something just to satisfy my hypocritical self. Maybe I was being a bit too elegant on that statement...I was only running away from the least thing I could do to help them.
At the store a lady offered me a sample for cheese...and I wanted to ask, why don't you give these to the hungry kids outside? But then I realized later that it wasn't a strategy to make me buy cheese, but mentos.
My days are still full of surprises. I met many new people today again. But out of those, I think I liked beggars the best, and I think they liked me.
posted by Masato at
6:45 PM
3 Comments:
You can't be Japanese, you're not nearly weird enough. Then again, you are a bit odd. anyways, when someone asks you about your background, dont say Japanese, American, OR Korean. Just go "MASATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
i totally understand! not so much about the japanese/american thing, but about not being a tourist or a student or a local...quite. you're just a nomad, the world is your home. and really, if you think about it, you're lots of other things too, so it's way too hard to just define yourself as one thing...you're a son, a friend, a brother, a runner, a musician, etc. just enjoy it all :)
＞Ryan
hmm, so I'm not weird enough, but I'm still a bit odd. I just can't be described in words.
>Johanna
I guess I'm a list of things so it's just impossible to put myself in one position. Good point!
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